30 Years of Waiting.

Today I turned 30 .. the big number. The one where everything you do now actually counts. Even though I look ten years younger, I don't feel it. I feel the weight of big decisions, desires and outcomes weighing on me and to hope that those big prayers will come. God kept giving the word, my thirty years of waiting. Right now I feel the doubt creeping in and the words slipping out in anxiety. It's here now, okay God, now be You! You will make big things happen in this coming year. So I hope so. 

 I've been at my job for almost a year now. This past year has been a hard season. A season of character build, stress, preparation, discernment, learning to communicate emotions, and other issues. I feel like a diamond under pressure. It takes so much pressure to get yourself to a place where you feel confident in who you are and feel ready for what God knows you desire. I'm really learning to trust God in His timing to work it all out, at the right time. To not jump too soon. God sees the unseen. He sees what I don't, and I need to remind myself of that. 

 My greatest test of faith is staying faithful when you feel like, when is it going to happen. God has me in this season for a reason. But for real this time. That a new job will come, a relationship will happen, a new missions trip will open, a place for me to move out. I declare it in His name! I speak over it in His name. Calm my anxious heart, to trust in You. 




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