'Uninvited'
It's hard to not kick and scream when things just don't go the way you wanted it. But there is grace in closed doors. I have been through more rejection in my life then i can image. from guys, people, and everything else. it takes a tole on you after awhile. comparison is the theft of joy. its hard to not constantly compare yourself to other girls. what does she have that i don't. why do all the guys like her, but not me. Does God not want me to be in a relationship. it's hard to not ask these things.
it's hard enough as it is to put yourself out there only to be rejected. guys won't do anything, then you say something only for them to reject you. its a constant cycle. but will the rejection stop. will someone cross my path for once and actually feel the same way ... why is it so darn hard for me to get past the mutual likeness stage. it gets easier for everyone else but me.
My news feeds are constantly flooded with engagements, relationship status changes, babies and everything else in between. has God forgotten i desire that too. even past rejections still get what they want. I shouldn't be one doing all the chasing. its a two way street. am i not pretty enough, outgoing enough, desirable enough ... ?
I can't seem to figure it out. guys just run away from me. everything causes that past rejection to feel all over again. it goes back to my dad leaving, boys being mean to me and other awful rejections from guys. it's taught me some crucial lessons though~
*Learning emotional control. it's so easy to allow your feelings and emotions to control you and everything you do. don't let it dictate your actions and don't let it consume you. let God take captive of your thoughts.
*Watch what you say. this is hard. sometimes the best response to something is to say nothing at all. just allow time to heal it, and so you don't regret doing or saying anything later on.
*Don't chase people. this can be read in many different ways. i strongly believe that whoever is supposed to be in your life, will eventually make their way back to you. if you try to fix a broken relationship, your only making it worse by wanting to fix it, or asking what dd I do wrong.
But truly, growth is a process, its also very painful. they are only stepping stones in what God really has for you. we only see a small portion of it. when i did my DTS two years ago, i was in a very vulnerable state in my life, only going through that will things change. I was messy, immature, and had a lot to learn. it's almost not fair to those relationships because we couldn't continue to live life together afterwards.
but you gotta just keep going, and trusting God in His bigger picture.
it's hard enough as it is to put yourself out there only to be rejected. guys won't do anything, then you say something only for them to reject you. its a constant cycle. but will the rejection stop. will someone cross my path for once and actually feel the same way ... why is it so darn hard for me to get past the mutual likeness stage. it gets easier for everyone else but me.
My news feeds are constantly flooded with engagements, relationship status changes, babies and everything else in between. has God forgotten i desire that too. even past rejections still get what they want. I shouldn't be one doing all the chasing. its a two way street. am i not pretty enough, outgoing enough, desirable enough ... ?
I can't seem to figure it out. guys just run away from me. everything causes that past rejection to feel all over again. it goes back to my dad leaving, boys being mean to me and other awful rejections from guys. it's taught me some crucial lessons though~
*Learning emotional control. it's so easy to allow your feelings and emotions to control you and everything you do. don't let it dictate your actions and don't let it consume you. let God take captive of your thoughts.
*Watch what you say. this is hard. sometimes the best response to something is to say nothing at all. just allow time to heal it, and so you don't regret doing or saying anything later on.
*Don't chase people. this can be read in many different ways. i strongly believe that whoever is supposed to be in your life, will eventually make their way back to you. if you try to fix a broken relationship, your only making it worse by wanting to fix it, or asking what dd I do wrong.
But truly, growth is a process, its also very painful. they are only stepping stones in what God really has for you. we only see a small portion of it. when i did my DTS two years ago, i was in a very vulnerable state in my life, only going through that will things change. I was messy, immature, and had a lot to learn. it's almost not fair to those relationships because we couldn't continue to live life together afterwards.
but you gotta just keep going, and trusting God in His bigger picture.
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