Life Through My Lens

Isn't it just like God, to turn our disappointments into a dance floor.  God often uses our times of waiting and obedience to truly rely on Him. To be honest, life has been really hard. I reached a breaking point that I just cried and cried, I hadn't cried in months. I've kept all my frustrations and hurts to myself for far too long. God doesn't want us to do that. He wants us to talk through our emotions and have people that can speak into our situations. My job situation was literally making me sick, and it was hurting everything around me. I needed a better way to lean into God for plans for my future. God has also had me in a season of preparation. He's been working through some hard truths, healing me and bringing me to a healthy place emotionally, spiritually and personally. Your bamboo seasons are your seasons of acceleration, because of the work He's been doing under is going to have unusual acceleration.   God has given me words for this year. Such ...

The other day I got to attend the wedding of a dear friend of mine. The wedding was beautiful, filled with the Holy Spirit and blessed with love ones all around. I have known Leah for years now and I can say her obedience to the Lord has lead her to amazing places, and led her to her now husband. It has come with it's fair share of trials and tests, but God is faithful. I'm so happy for her and the new adventures she has ahead of her.  Being at her wedding brought back a lot of emotions. I know I want to get married too, but it made me miss the days when I was traveling, and the community missions brings. There is something so special about being somewhere abroad and the experiences you have with those around you. You can't even explain it sometimes. I have been home for a little over four years now and it's been a long haul of working through issues and having to work in general. What I am feeling now is ready to actually move forward. But I am not who or where I was...

"Whatever our lot, we can say, "it is well." hardship melts into worship when we realize that God is always for us." This season of life has been one of the hardest. And I mean not in the same way it has been in the past. Whether it was working through family issues, heartaches with guys, life changes and other life stuff, this season has proved to feel like a pressure cooker. He is seriously working in me in a season of preparation. My job has been by far the hardest job I have ever had. I'm seeing the maturity in my responses when you feel let down, or when life doesn't go your way. It's pressing into Him and knowing He sees more then we know.  Since I've turned thirty all my hopes for this coming year had felt stalled. Nothing is going the way I thought. I had hoped to be out of what I am doing at work and working in the bakery.  Relationships don't workout the way you thought, and family issues are becoming real. God is making me wait a l...

"She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her." -(Proverbs 3:15) If there is anything God has been teaching me in this season, it's learning to be firmly rooted in Christ. Nothing can come against that. Because you know who you are. God continues to bring clarity in my walk with Him, but also that I am worthy of pursuing and worthy of great love. Every set back is a place to bring you closer to where you need to be. I've matured enough to know when to let go and move on before things get to a place you can't go back from. When to sense when something feels off, and to listen to your intuition. It's not easy, and its hard because nothing ever seems to happen the way we want it to.  Being a woman of God means you are set apart. You are what they call, top shelf. You are worthy of praise, but also worthy of someone who is worthy of you. It's taken a lot of heartache and pain to know that you can't settle for anything less...

There's a peace far beyond our understanding ..  God gave me the word over the past few months my thirty years of waiting. At the beginning of the year He gave me the word Grace. I was feeling hopeful and that God is going to do great and wonderful things. Well, I turned thirty and all the sudden I felt all fear and doubt crash over me. I could hardly stan d it at my job that I was on the verge of having a melt down, that I asked to switch departments for a better work environment. Other areas of my life have seemed to crash and burn too. I feel like the enemy is trying to get me in places that will set you aside. But our job is to not allow for the enemy to do that.  When everything doesn't make sense, that is when we need to really press into faith and pray. Have patience and allow for God to be God. Being an over thinker drives you nuts and you feel like you always read into everything. I did just turn thirty a few weeks ago, and a lot can change in a year. I just need ...

Today I turned 30 .. the big number. The one where everything you do now actually counts. Even though I look ten years younger, I don't feel it. I feel the weight of big decisions, desires and outcomes weighing on me and to hope that those big prayers will come. God kept giving the word, my thirty years of waiting. Right now I feel the doubt creeping in and the words slipping out in anxiety. It's here now, okay God, now be You! You will make big things happen in this coming year. So I hope so.  I've been at my job for almost a year now. This past year has been a hard season. A season of character build, stress, preparation, discernment, learning to communicate emotions, and other issues. I feel like a diamond under pressure. It takes so much pressure to get yourself to a place where you feel confident in who you are and feel ready for what God knows you desire. I'm really learning to trust God in His timing to work it all out, at the right time. To not jump too soon. ...

Beautiful surrender, that's right where I want to be.  When we have seasons of extreme highs and lows, its easy to have doubts and often wonder how God will work it all out. I'm in a waiting season right now. God has me right where I am for a reason. I'm stressed out all the time wondering what the future holds for a job. I've had distractions and wondering if it will ever workout with anyone. It's asking God for patience, obedience, discernment and contentment. God has so much in store for me that I don't know about.  God sees the unseen. He see's the entire picture. He is the master match maker, He sees the skills I will need for the next step. Its a season of preparation. It's the waiting in the process that is difficult. God is also preparing his heart too. And sometimes you are two steps ahead. And you need to pray that God is preparing them for you. Because it involves two people. But you need to focus on yourself and God. Its all the doubts...