You are enough.

If there is one thing that we all feel, is the feeling of not being good enough. We are so absorbed for the feeling of self gratification that the second we sense a bit of rejection from someone we feel not good enough. It sometimes doesn't have to be what someone said, just body language or what they don't say. You read into it and think all these thoughts when maybe it was not intended that way. As a people pleaser it's so hard to not let people's rejections get to you. You want everyone to like you. You try so hard to not say or do anything wrong to offend someone. But there are going to be people that don't like you. And that's okay. The more you begin to realize we aren't mean't to please everyone, it makes life a little easier. 

 I hate to admit it, but I have been rejected by every guy I have ever liked. Each rejection has only made finding love more and more of a difficulty, and lose of hope that it will ever happen. You get angry and upset with the male species that they would reject someone like me. But yet no one has ever even tried. So no wonder I feel like I'm the only one who likes someone, and well, I'm the one who has to pursue it or show interest. But it really doesn't work that way. If the interest is the same, then the effort would be mutual. But I have never been asked or even been on a date ... ever. It hurts, like a lot. I don't even know what it's like to be put first. I do so much for nothing. I'm trying to be more open again, but I'm not meeting anyone that is right or even single, though I think. 

 Although not ever been on a date should not define you. Those things are small compared to what God has in store for you. I know I really want to experience romance for once in my life, and I'm really trying to trust God that it will happen. Looking back, though it was painful at the time, God has stopped me from getting to close to guys who were unworthy and saved me from more heartache then I was probably feeling. God had other plans for me. And I knew I wasn't ready, even then. Being almost 30, and feeling confident with myself, and working through some hard heart issues, I feel more ready for it now then I ever have, and will be ready to receive it when it does come. 

 YOU ARE ENOUGH! How many times do you have to repeat things to yourself till you believe it. Those rejections from those guys don't make me unworthy. The one God has for me will be able to handle the person I am, and I will be ready to receive the person He has for me. I'm really trying to take steps forward to be in that place. But as I read somewhere: "I used to worry so much about being at the right place at the right time for just the right purpose- as if I somehow had the power to magically align all the stars necessary to cause a perfect fairy tale romance." 

 I'm not in control of trying to make it happen with people. I feel like I try way too hard and it comes off wrong and it sends the wrong vibes. So I need to relax, and trust that God knows better then I do. 









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