Life Through My Lens

"She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her." -(Proverbs 3:15) If there is anything God has been teaching me in this season, it's learning to be firmly rooted in Christ. Nothing can come against that. Because you know who you are. God continues to bring clarity in my walk with Him, but also that I am worthy of pursuing and worthy of great love. Every set back is a place to bring you closer to where you need to be. I've matured enough to know when to let go and move on before things get to a place you can't go back from. When to sense when something feels off, and to listen to your intuition. It's not easy, and its hard because nothing ever seems to happen the way we want it to.  Being a woman of God means you are set apart. You are what they call, top shelf. You are worthy of praise, but also worthy of someone who is worthy of you. It's taken a lot of heartache and pain to know that you can't settle for anything less...

There's a peace far beyond our understanding ..  God gave me the word over the past few months my thirty years of waiting. At the beginning of the year He gave me the word Grace. I was feeling hopeful and that God is going to do great and wonderful things. Well, I turned thirty and all the sudden I felt all fear and doubt crash over me. I could hardly stan d it at my job that I was on the verge of having a melt down, that I asked to switch departments for a better work environment. Other areas of my life have seemed to crash and burn too. I feel like the enemy is trying to get me in places that will set you aside. But our job is to not allow for the enemy to do that.  When everything doesn't make sense, that is when we need to really press into faith and pray. Have patience and allow for God to be God. Being an over thinker drives you nuts and you feel like you always read into everything. I did just turn thirty a few weeks ago, and a lot can change in a year. I just need ...

Today I turned 30 .. the big number. The one where everything you do now actually counts. Even though I look ten years younger, I don't feel it. I feel the weight of big decisions, desires and outcomes weighing on me and to hope that those big prayers will come. God kept giving the word, my thirty years of waiting. Right now I feel the doubt creeping in and the words slipping out in anxiety. It's here now, okay God, now be You! You will make big things happen in this coming year. So I hope so.  I've been at my job for almost a year now. This past year has been a hard season. A season of character build, stress, preparation, discernment, learning to communicate emotions, and other issues. I feel like a diamond under pressure. It takes so much pressure to get yourself to a place where you feel confident in who you are and feel ready for what God knows you desire. I'm really learning to trust God in His timing to work it all out, at the right time. To not jump too soon. ...

Beautiful surrender, that's right where I want to be.  When we have seasons of extreme highs and lows, its easy to have doubts and often wonder how God will work it all out. I'm in a waiting season right now. God has me right where I am for a reason. I'm stressed out all the time wondering what the future holds for a job. I've had distractions and wondering if it will ever workout with anyone. It's asking God for patience, obedience, discernment and contentment. God has so much in store for me that I don't know about.  God sees the unseen. He see's the entire picture. He is the master match maker, He sees the skills I will need for the next step. Its a season of preparation. It's the waiting in the process that is difficult. God is also preparing his heart too. And sometimes you are two steps ahead. And you need to pray that God is preparing them for you. Because it involves two people. But you need to focus on yourself and God. Its all the doubts...

There are blessings in the waiting.  God has been speaking truth over me that there are blessings in the waiting. It's comes down to trusting God in His promises. When I get anxiety during the week because of work or relationships I have to remind myself to not worry. God's got this. He's in control of my future, my future relationship and that He will make it happen at the right time. I know I feel more confident in myself, but sometimes it's just hard. Because it's something that I really want- a Godly relationship. I mean, I stopped wanting it in the same way I have in the past, but it is still hard. When is now. When will a guy just know, ask God and pursue. It seems like it shouldn't be that hard. But it's persistence. Asking God about it. I can honestly say, I have not really asked God about a future husband. I don't know if it's because I don't want it to come from a place of desperation, past hurts or rejections but really asking God ...

Overwhelming peace. God has given me an overwhelming peace. I know that in the beginning of the year God gave me the word grace. A spirit of rest, grace upon grace of all the hard times and just for myself. What it means to truly rest in Him. I'm burned out all the time from my job and just the craziness of life, but also learning to truly rest in Him. How to have a life when you have other obligations. It's been a real challenge for me. Pressure makes diamonds right.  Learning to rest in Him also mean learning to rest in His promises. We become so fixated on our desires and what we want that we miss the growth in the process. So when does it become something from God and not out of desperation.. we ask Him. We check our hearts and motives. It doesn't mean your not intentional about it, but it's realizing that God knows the desires of our hearts and prayers, and the focus needs to be more on ourselves and not those desires. Like the prayers you've been asking Go...

What does it look like to just be .. to just be in His presence again. We grow soo used to being busy all the time we don't actually take the time for Him. God is a jealous God, and He wants all of our attention. He wants to get our attention back on Him. The enemy will do anything to distract us. And we need to be praying for discernment in the process.  Something was brought up to me the other night after church, what is the next? I was explaining how I went to college, did YWAM and now working full time, and I feel like my time following God is up. I'm in a different season of life now. And it sometimes involves giving up a lot in the process. But I'm not feeling fulfilled in what I am doing. I feel drained and tired all the time. I feel like I'm waiting for that next big thing to happen .. but what does that look like. God has grown me and changed me so much over the past few years that all that I have learned can be used in such significant ways. I'm an amazi...